Open Letter to New Pipe Makers

[SimeonTurner]

To put it even more bluntly, if you feel like the old guard are being hostile to you, it's more likely that you're rude and your ideas are stupid than it is that they, en masse, have leagued against your radical brilliance.

Trever, I am so offended right now. Clearly, you are just so old skool you don't know genius when it hits you in the face. You are the worst pipe maker evar and I hate you!!!!11!!!1!

[TreverT]

To put it even more bluntly, if you feel like the old guard are being hostile to you, it's more likely that you're rude and your ideas are stupid than it is that they, en masse, have leagued against your radical brilliance.

Trever, I am so offended right now. Clearly, you are just so old skool you don't know genius when it hits you in the face. You are the worst pipe maker evar and I hate you!!!!11!!!1!

I think EVAR is supposed to be capitalized, always. You're doing it wrong.

Someday I should write a blog of all the insane hobbyists I have dealt with over the years... Churchwarden stem guy alone would have Kurt cackling for an hour.

[Leus]

Someday I should write a blog of all the insane hobbyists I have dealt with over the years... Churchwarden stem guy alone would have Kurt cackling for an hour.

Trever, it has been a whole day and you still haven't told us about crazy churchwarden stem guy. I think this is extremely inconsiderate and rude.

Also, fishnets.

[TreverT]

Someday I should write a blog of all the insane hobbyists I have dealt with over the years... Churchwarden stem guy alone would have Kurt cackling for an hour.

Trever, it has been a whole day and you still haven't told us about crazy churchwarden stem guy. I think this is extremely inconsiderate and rude.

Also, fishnets.

A Typical Tale of dealing with hobbyists...

Some years back, I posted on our blog a pic of this big crate of churchwarden stems that we'd found in the briar cave after we purchased the French business. I've probably got 500+ of the things, a lifetime supply. Not long after we moved back here, I get an email from Crazy Churchwarden Stem Guy asking if I'd be willing to sell him any of these. Being in a good mood after escaping from Brittany, I say, "Sure, how many?" This begins a RIDICULOUS series of emails...

He writes back to ask how much they are. I have no idea, we bought them as part of the business stock, so I look around online and quote him a price comparable to PE's prices. This is my first wasted working time. Keep in mind that since we bought the supplies in euros, even selling at list probably means I'll make a grand total of like five bucks on thirty stems sold.

Some time passes, and he writes again. If he buys 25 rather than 20, will I give him a discount price? Roll eyes, "No". What about if he buys 30? Where is the next line for a discount price? I don't have price lists because I don't sell parts. I've already had to waste more working time just digging through my sent email folder to jog my memory as to what I quoted him originally. I think I tell him something like, if he'll get 50 I'll discount the price a wee bit.

More time passes. He writes again, asking if I'll give a discount if he buys 40. I say NO, and add that I am not a parts dealer and he should just buy the damn things from PE. I am tired of this. Chastened, he assures me that he wants to buy the stems. He asks for the exact measurements of the stems. We have moved back from France and our garage is one giant pile of boxes, but because I am a nice guy, I go out and waste probably half an hour trying to dig through this stuff till I find the box of stems and measure them for him and send the dimensions back. I've probably wasted a total of two solid working hours on this moron now.

About SIX MONTHS PASS. No word. Then one day I get an email saying he wants to buy some churchwarden stems and how many does he need to buy to get a discount. I dig out my old price quote AGAIN and send it to him, and he says he wants 20-some stems, and to send him a Paypal invoice so he can pay for them. I go to Paypal, make out an invoice for the stems and shipping, send it to him, and never hear from him again.

This is what dealing with hobbyists is typically like. They want maximum bother for minimum cash, they only want to buy five briar blocks but they want me to dig through the whole stash and send them the very best five, only after I've sent them the exact dimensions and weights for each block, they want to buy four stems and want exact dimensions on each, yadda yadda yadda. Great way to spend an eight hour day and make $15 of profit for it.

And BTW, I think Crazy Churchwarden Stem Guy is on this forum so if you ARE, YES, I am talking about YOU, and this is exactly what I think of you. Never, ever email me again or I will rip your face off. On the plus side, you have become a good story.

[SimeonTurner]

And BTW, I think Crazy Churchwarden Stem Guy is on this forum so if you ARE, YES, I am talking about YOU, and this is exactly what I think of you. Never, ever email me again or I will rip your face off. On the plus side, you have become a good story.

I was just thinking as I read your story "I wonder if that guy is on here and reading this." LOL!

BTW, Trever, what kind of deal would you offer me if I were willing to buy 327 of those stems? WOuld there be a price break at 327, or would I need to buy 328?

[KurtHuhn]

You know, that's funny. I remember a few years ago when there was a scare about churchwarden stems being unavailable because Giudici (IIRC) was ceasing or pausing production. At that time I went around quietly buying all the churchwarden stems I could - because, lets face it, hand cutting a churchwarden stem is a total pain in the ass. And even factoring in the higher cost of a churchwarden premold, it's a significant savings in time expense alone. Even now, I would never dicker on the price of churchwarden stems. I pay the asking price and thank the seller.

[TreverT]

And BTW, I think Crazy Churchwarden Stem Guy is on this forum so if you ARE, YES, I am talking about YOU, and this is exactly what I think of you. Never, ever email me again or I will rip your face off. On the plus side, you have become a good story.

I was just thinking as I read your story "I wonder if that guy is on here and reading this." LOL!

BTW, Trever, what kind of deal would you offer me if I were willing to buy 327 of those stems? WOuld there be a price break at 327, or would I need to buy 328?

IIRC he is, or was, a member here at some point. I could dig through my email folders to ID his name and business but I'm unwilling to waste one iota further time on him other than to ridicule him, because people that behave like that effing well deserve to be ridiculed.

As for the supplies, Crazy Churchwarden Stem Guy was my last experience ever at selling stock. From here on out, it's just going to be, "Sorry, go to PE" unless it's somebody I know who is sane and I can do a no-fuss transaction with.

[TreverT]

You know, that's funny. I remember a few years ago when there was a scare about churchwarden stems being unavailable because Giudici (IIRC) was ceasing or pausing production. At that time I went around quietly buying all the churchwarden stems I could - because, lets face it, hand cutting a churchwarden stem is a total pain in the ass. And even factoring in the higher cost of a churchwarden premold, it's a significant savings in time expense alone. Even now, I would never dicker on the price of churchwarden stems. I pay the asking price and thank the seller.

I have plenty for you if you're ever down this way. I don't even make them that often because even using a premolded stem on a Ligne Bretagne, they're still a lot of extra work. I get fussy about trying to make the stem lengths ripple-free and not have them warbling all over the place like they usually look, so doing a churchwarden ends up taking a lot more time than a normal pipe. "Not very profitable" + "Limited Demand" = I have enough churchwarden stems to last me for a looooog time...

[KurtHuhn]

I have plenty for you if you're ever down this way.

Bring some to Richmond.

I intend to get stocked up churchwardens prior to The Hobbit hitting theaters. That's when they seem to sell quickest.

[DaGamba]

I intend to get stocked up churchwardens prior to The Hobbit hitting theaters. That's when they seem to sell quickest.

Hm. I might have to steal that idea...
On the other hand, seeing that I don't really sell pipes, I might just be stuck with a bunch of churchwardens I don't really want.

[DMI]

I was worried that you were talking about me for a while there, but I only wanted a dozen so it can't of been.

I liked the part where you offered to cut the stems to fit in the prepaid box.

David

[Boekweg]

Thank you for the letter, it was very well written. I am definitely taking note of all the advice i can get! I just received my very first pipe kit (pimo's) and i am looking foreword to making my first pipe. I am a machinist and although i have mainly worked with metal i figured its the same with wood. remove what you dont need, keep the rest. well at least now i will see if i have what it takes.

[fastredx]

Although I have been a member here for a couple of years or so I have only posted a few times and just now got around to reading this thread! Like what I have just read and agree with pretty much all of it.Everything except the part about fishnets.
I'm a pipe maker wannabe,a 61 year old retired construction worker. Wish I had discovered pipe making 30 years ago! My hands and my eyes are not what they used to be. I've found that when I have a question or a problem I can dig around and find an answer here.I'd rather dig for an answer than ask a question that I figured has been asked a good many times before and risk looking like some sort of idjit.
I spend more time restoring /refurbing old pipes than making them but in the last couple of months have made a few and even sold three. Actually sold two and traded the third for some tools.
Been slowly equipping my little shop in the basement(have to share the laundry room).Even bought a small lathe although it will probably never be used to drill or do any other stummel work.My budget won't allow me to buy the tooling that seems to be needed for that so I use it for some stem work and tamper making.
Mainly just wanted to say that I think this site is an incredible resource and I'm thankful it's here. I appreciate that. Thank you Tyler,Kurt and all the rest who make it what it is.

[Batchelor_of_Briar]

I've been reading this forum for several weeks, but only signed up recently. The information I have found here has been invaluable, so I'd like to thank you all for your efforts and commitment! In terms of opinions from old hands and noobs, I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion on any work shared - regardless of their experience. I've seen many who will humbly offer advice with the disclaimer that they are in no way experts on the subject. Seems like the best approach to me. How you decide to proceed with the information given is down to you. I find my own process of trial and error with a few pointers along the way is the best way to learn and improve with anything. Anybody looking to be spoon fed isn't worth your time.

[uniquebriar]

I am honored to have read this letter and letting me in to this wonderful website. Thank You Tyler for the great advice.

[Kirk Fitzgerald]

Some excellent advice in the original post, from humble beginnings doth in time come works of grandeur, from the humble acorn doth grow the mighty Oak, thanks for the reminder.

[the rev]

I am the exception to all of these rules



I have been humbled by the quality of both the advice and the pipes of the guys on this forum. Thank you to all of the old pros for taking the time. I tend to get a bit excited and obsessed when embarking on a new thing, and this forum will keep me in line I am sure.

rev

[sparkyspipes]

Don’t be that guy.

Great letter Sir, and the quote says it all.

[Rob]

An old thread, but I really enjoyed the post, Tyler, great stuff, sir. Thanks so much for posting it.
As a new enthusiast to the craft, I am trying to avoid the avoidable mistakes that you guys have have seen 100's of time before!! I found myself already making a few of them!

[mijnnif]

Thank you sincerely, Extremely sound advise
Jim