Submission for your Critique

[Snowpipes]

Please be brutal, I learn more that way.

My own critique of this pipe is the line between rustication/smooth is messy, The rustication itself trapped some Carnuaba im not sure you can see, but some spots are a little matte. The "shank" is a wee bit twisted, I tried to show a little of plateau there but it came out a little wonky. The stem is comfortable, but the bend is pretty flawed and I'm not sure I chose the correct length. There are 2 flaws on the smooth bottom. Also wasnt meant to be a sitter, but I would like it a lot more if it were more well balanced in that regard.

Please fill me in on what I've overlooked if you care to, thank you.

[DocAitch]

I like the overall concept and the execution of the stummel seems pretty good with the exception of the shank as you have noted.
I am not concerned about the angled face of the shank, that happens with plateau, but the shank is asymmetric along the lateral lines. It is square-ish on the top (right side) in photo 4 and has a smooth pleasing curve on the left side. This is apparently the result of trying to save that bit of plateau. You might ask yourself whether that little piece of plateau contributed in any way to the general esthetic of the pipe (even if it didn’t screw up your shank).
I think the overall shaping and finish of the stem needs to be addressed, and the internals appear to be primitive. The pinch and abrupt flare in front of the button looks wrong Study some other pipes that follow this general scheme (of wide flattish shank to stem)- like a Tom Eltang Eskimo to see how this general shape is handled.
As far as the internals go, I suspect from what I see of the draft that there is no effective funnel, and I am also deducing that the stem is significantly thicker than 0.160” behind the button. The reason for the funnel is to maintain a fairly constant cross sectional area for the airway and still give a reasonable amount of material inside the button area to resist tooth pressure. There are lots of threads addressing this in this forum.
The button needs refinement
I agree that your stem bend is abrupt- try heating until a greater length is pliable before bending .
The chamber should also be sanded to remove stain and wax.
DocAitch

[wdteipen]

The biggest thing to work on is making your lines throughout the entire composition more crisp and defined.

[Snowpipes]

Thank you Doc

Stem shaping is still a great struggle for me, but I have a new belt/disc sanding combo arriving tomorrow and I expect that will help a great deal. I just compared this button and bite to a couple of professionally made pipes I own and youre spot on. The button is bulky and misshapen, the bite is too thick. I used a slot funneling tool but the drill bit I am using for the end of the stem seems a little too large, but is the smallest I have. Ive just ordered a tapered bit to hopefully solve that as well as a new dremmel bit to hopefully make the funneled portion of the airway cleaner.

I agree I probably sacrificed the whole shape of the pipe to try and save a rather unnoticeable piece of plateau.

Thank you, will definately be focusing on button, bite, slot funneling, and general shaping of stems tomorrow.

[Snowpipes]

The biggest thing to work on is making your lines throughout the entire composition more crisp and defined.

Definately need to improve on my shaping skills, thanks for the feedback I also realize this shape is the definition of trying to run before I can crawl. Im going to focus on some more basic and classic shapes for a while

[DocAitch]

This is a quick overview of cutting the slot.The draft from the tenon end is a 5/32” Fuller bit to within about 3/4” of the button end. The last 3/4” is 1/16”. The slot and funnel is created with a spiral saw “funneling tool”. Care should be taken to widen the “choke point” where the tapered Fuller bit ends.
The flat blade saw is made from an 18 tpi reciprocating saw blade.

DocAitch

[Snowpipes]

That is a super helpful breakdown, I was lacking that in depth understanding completely. Youre the man

[DocAitch]

Those are just the basics. Cleaning it up with sandpaper and polishing are also necessary.
DocAitch

[Ocelot55]

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think your reach exceeded your grasp on this particular pipe.

I can see in the general composition that you have an eye that can be developed, but you need to understand your medium before you can create in the real world what you see in your mind's eye. My advice: make some classics. Then make some more classics. Work on the fundamentals, how to hold a straight line, how to create a pleasing curve, learning to cut a stem. After you've done that I think you'll be amazed how those skills translate to more abstract shapes.

[Snowpipes]

Thanks Ocelot, never offended, even maybe when I should be. Im going to focus on the classics.......and maybe still mess around with an abstract shape every once in a while just to keep my creativity fed. I was definately trying to sprint before I could crawl on this one, its just so much damn fun.

Billiards until I get one right, then more billiards until I get 10 in a row right.

Thanks for the time

[wdteipen]

Thanks Ocelot, never offended, even maybe when I should be. Im going to focus on the classics.......and maybe still mess around with an abstract shape every once in a while just to keep my creativity fed.

I think this is a great approach for a newer, creative-minded artist. I can relate to the need to feed your creativity and it seems to be a common theme amongst a lot of pipemakers when they are at the early stages. It is most definitely true that making classic shapes is one of the best ways to improve your making skills but for those of us who have that strong urge and desire to be creative and use our imagination, the classics can sometimes leave us unfulfilled and unsatisfied. The artistic and abstract shapes feed that need but are usually way above our skill level at the outset. Honing both skill simultaneously seems a reasonable plan. While I would strongly recommend making classics, I would never recommend abandoning creativity for it's sake.