I'm A Believer - I Had An Encounter With A Sasquatch

[shikano53]

The other day I decided that I would go for an outing so I packed a lunch, threw some trusty cobs in my pack and a few jars of tobacco and a tin or three and headed out. I was kidnapped and held captive by a monstrous creature for several hours. It took me to it's cave. I looked around and terror filled me. On one side of the cave wall there were hideous ancient torture devices. My heart skipped a beat when I saw an evil looking torture instrument that I'm sure the Sasquatch creature was going to use to grind my toe-nails off with. What do I do?
Then I noticed something even more terrifying. The creature was standing beside a bench on the far wall and was gesturing toward yet another wicked looking device. This one had something that looked like a live center, and oh my gawd, it was spinning with something that looked like a Forstner bit. Great, He's preparing to face my temples and then he will implant electrodes to control me so he can have me fetch coffee for him or worse, something called a VaPer.
I groped for my pack and pulled out a tin of G.L. Pease Maltese Falcon thinking this might pacify the monster but instead it enraged him! He began making strange guttural noises and shaking his head violently from side to side. Quickly with shaking hands I pulled out a mason jar of MacBaren H&H Vintage Syrian thinking that at the very least, I could throw it at the beast and if it shattered on the cave floor, it would distract him long enough to flee and make my escape. But then a strange thing happened. The creature stopped, reached out a gigantic clawed hand and took the jar, twisted off the lid, sniffed and in a guttural sasquatchy rumble said, Me take."
"Dude, you can eat the jar if you just let me leave. Take it!" Then he pulled out this weird thing, packed a few pinches of said tobacco in the bowl of this long, curved looking ancient pipe thingy, lit it and began to puff.
"Me like. You smoke too!"
"Right, sure thing." What ever you want dude. At this point I would have stuffed a cob with rabbit nuggets and smoked it, if it would have made him happy.
He groped around and handed me an ancient beat up tin that had just a plain brown paper label. WTF????
He nodded and handed it to me. I looked at the label. It said L.J. Peretti & Co.
I smoked a bowl. Hey dude, this is good stuff, where'd you score this? We began to have a conversation and between his huffing and chest thumping and pointing I began to understand.
Finally I looked down at his huge feet. Something wasn't right. No indeed. And then I realized why he was so grumpy kinda like a bear with a sore ass.
I pointed down at his feet.
"Man, like your socks are way to tight!" You need to lose the tight socks. And what's with the blue ruffles around the top?" No wonder you're so grumpy. You need to spruce up your Sasquatch wardrobe and get some styling going here!"
All feeble attempts at levity aside, a big thank-you to Todd for his hospitality and opening his shop to me and allowing me to ask numerous newbie questions and patiently answering them.
Thanks Bro
P.S. I understand about the G.L. Pease but hey, I totally dig his Latakia blends.

[Sasquatch]

"Me many take!"